


Dragon slayer chatroom

by Irondragon4



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 20:24:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21124715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irondragon4/pseuds/Irondragon4
Summary: Basically just the dragon slayers in a chat room consisting of ridiculousness, flirting, swearing and several other things.(This book is going to involve flirting between all dragon slayers except Wendy. Wendy is too young to be flirting with 6 men in their (4)20's)(Also all ships involved are crack ships for me. I just thought this would be hilarious to do especially after reading a chat fic on another platform and it mentioned a dragon slayer chat at one point)(I couldn't add a couple in the relationship tag. Basically all dragon slayers at some point will have a relationship with each other. Except Wendy)





	1. Chapter 1

[Natsu added Gajeel, Wendy, Laxus, Cobra, Sting and Rogue to Dragon chat]

Gajeel: What is this and why am I in it

Natsu: Its a chat for dragon slayer related things

Sting: Then why are Laxus and Cobra here?

Laxus: I'm a dragon slayer too you know

Wendy: So what are we gonna talk about?

Natsu:.....

Natsu: I don't know

[1:23pm]

Cobra: I just got on this and I'm confused as to why I was added but I'm gonna have some fun while I'm here

[Cobra changed their name to My Snitches]

Gajeel: What does that even mean?

My snitches: It means my snake bitches

Gajeel:.....

[Gajeel changed their name to Metal apocalypse]

[Natsu changed their name to Fire King]

Fire king: Wait what does Metal apocalypse even mean

Metal Apocalypse: My secret

[Wendy changed their name to kitty munchkin]

My snitches: Why is she in this chat? She's too innocent

[Laxus changed their name to Lightning god]

[Metal Apocalypse changed Lightning god's name to Spark god]

Spark god: Bitch

Metal Apocalyse: I'm offended

[Sting changed their name to Buzz buzz bitchez] 

[Rogue changed their name to Shadowy emo] 

Metal apocalypse: Ha. That's a fitting name

Shadowy emo: Shut up. 

Buzz buzz bitchez: So now what

Fire king: I dunno

[10:43]

Fire king: Where are you Gajeel I want to fight

Shadowy emo: Do you even know proper grammer?

Metal Apocalypse: Fuck off Salamander. I'm busy

Fire king: Doing what

Spark god: Why do you care?

Fire king: Because I want to fight him

Fire king: How about you fight me instead

Spark god: Can't. Busy

My Snitches: Yeah. Your ruining the moment fire fucker

Buzz buzz bitchez: Wait. Are you guys together 

Spark god: Who said we we are. we aren't 

Shadowy emo: I can see you guys making out in the middle of a forest

Metal Apocalypse: What are you? A stalker

Shadowy emo: For your information, I was returning from training. You guys aren't even near Magnolia. Go fuck each other in your own forest

Kitty munchkin: What's going on? 

My Snitches: Quick. Cover her eyes. She's too innocent for this

Spark god: Wendy don't read these messages. Your too innocent

Kitty munchkin: I didn't know Laxus was dating Gajeel and Cobra

Metal Apocalypse: We aren't dating

My Snitches: Yeah. Making out is completly different

Buzz buzz bitchez: It kinda looks more like a threesome on a blow up mattress

Spark god: Are you with Rogue? 

Buzz buzz bitchez: Who do you think was training with Rogue? 

Metal apocalypse: That's it. I'm coming over there

Buzz buzz bitchez: Without your shirt? 

Metal apocalypse: Yes you perv

Kitty munchkin: Are Sting and Rogue still alive? 

Shadowy emo: Yes. I used my shadows to get us away but I felt tempted to leave Sting behind

Buzz buzz bitchez: You don't have to be so mean

Fire King: So what's going on is their a fight 

Shadowy emo: *There

Buzz buzz bitchez: Your such a grammer Nazi


	2. Sick

[12:37pm]

Fire king: Where are you Metal brain. I want to fight

Kitty Munchkin: Maybe he's on a job. We shouldn't bother him

Buzz buzz Bitchez: Or he's still recovering from being fucked last night 

Shadowy emo: Don't say stuff like that in front of Wendy you idiot. 

Spark god: That is not your place to talk about

My snitches: Exactly

Fire king: So where is he so I can fight him

Metal apocalypse: Fuck off and stop blowing up my phone

Fire king: Where are you

Metal Apocalypse: In my bed Fuckwad.

Fire king: Then get out of bed and get to the guild

[12:48pm]

Fire king: Metal brain

Fire king: Why aren't you at the guild ye

Fire king: Hey

Fire king: Don't ignore me

Spark god: Stop blowing up the chat Natsu

Metal Apocalypse: Stop messaging me. My phone keeps buzzing and its hurting my head even more than it already is and the light from my phone is irritating my eyes 

Fire king: How

Metal Apocalypse: How do you think? 

Kitty Munchkin: Are you sick Gajeel? 

Metal apocalypse: Yes

My Snitches: How bad? I dare you to say

Metal Apocalypse: You want to know? 

My snitches: Of course

Metal Apocalypse: I sat in my bathroom wretching for 30 minutes this morning

Fire king: Are you pregnant

Metal Apocalypse:........... 

Shadowy emo: Do you even know how pregnancy works? 

Fire king: Well I heard someone at the guild talking about it. 

My snitches: Your an idiot

Fire king: Am not

Spark god: You kinda are if you don't even know a basic fact of life

Fire king: And what's that

Spark god: Men can't get pregnant

Buzz buzz bitchez: Even I know that one

Shadowy emo: Yeah and your pretty dense too

Buzz buzz bitchez: Hey I'm offended. 

Fire king: He could have gotten pregnant through magic

Shadowy emo: That's not how it works.

Kitty munchkins: How does it work

My snitches: Well when a man and a woman really love each other

[My snitches has been removed from chat] 

[My snitches has been added to chat] 

My snitches: OK who did that

Shadowy emo: I did it

My snitches: How dare you

Metal Apocalypse: I'm not pregnant Salamander. I'm just sick

My snitches: You better not have given it to me

Metal Apocalypse: Maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it? 

My snitches: How dare you 

Spark god: Stop complaining. You weren't complaining last night 

My snitches: Yeah well I didn't know he was sick

Metal Apocalypse: I didn't know I was sick either so I couldn't have told you. 

Metal Apocalypse: Better question is can you still walk? 

My snitches: Of course I can you prick

Metal Apocalypse: Gihi


	3. Tooth

[1:46pm]

Metal Apocalypse: Guys check this out

[Metal Apocalypse has sent an image]

Spark god: What the actual fuck is that?

Shadowy emo: I think its a claw

Metal Apocalypse: Its a tooth

Buzz buzz bitches: Where did you get a tooth the size of my middle finger?

My snitches: He probably found it in the woods or something

Metal Apocalypse: First off, it's not thee size of your middle finger, it's just a little bigger than a pinkie. Second it's my tooth

Spark god: We know it's your tooth but where did you find it?

Metal Apocalypse: In my mouth obviously

My snitches: What the actual fuck

Fire king: Who's claw is that?

Spark god: Back read Natsu

Metal Apocalypse: Yeah. My teeth fall out a lot. I think it has something to do with eating iron

Shadowy emo: That's not natural. Why are you so calm about this?

Kitty munchkins: Do you want me to come over and heal your mouth?

Metal apocalypse: Nah. It's fine. This happens all the time so it's not a big deal if sometimes I'm bleeding.

Spark god: Dude. That's concerning as fuck.

Fire king: What the fuck

Buzz buzz bitchez: And Natsu's caught up

My snitches: How are your teeth that big in the first place. They look normal when you look at them.

Metal apocalypse: Oh they hide up in my jaw but they grow back when knocked out. Can't you guys do that?

Buzz buzz bitchez: No. That's why we're freaking out. Teeth don't just grow back when you knock them out.

Metal apocalypse: Don't dragons do that.

My snitches: We aren't dragons

Shadowy emo: This is got to be some sort of joke right

[Metal apocalypse has sent an image]

Spark god: What the fuck is that?

Metal apocalypse: Like I said. Its my teeth

Fire king: you have an entire pile of your own teeth.

Kitty munchkin: What's that off to the side?

Metal apocalypse: You mean the bodies of all the dead things I've collected.

Spark god: I literally just did a spit take because this is fucking ridiculous.

Metal Apocalypse: What? I've always collected stuff like that, even when I was with Metalicana. He told me not to collect the bodies of dead people but animals was fine.

My snitches: What exactly do you do with those?

Metal apocalypse: Well when I was younger, I would play about with them like crazy.

Spark god: I'm now concerned that we were in very close proximity

Metal apocalypse: Don't worry. I don't do that with humans. Just dead animals. You know, birds, mice, rats, cats. Lily isn't to happy about that last one

Shadowy emo: We are all now concerned about your wellbeing Gajeel

Metal apocalypse: Go ahead but I don't see anything wrong here.


	4. Sting wants to date and Wendy sad

[2:58pm]

Kitty muchkins: Guys?

Metal apocalypse: What's up short stuff?

Kitty munchkins: Am I ugly?

Metal apocalypse:.....

Shadowy emo: Oh Fucketh, I think he has gone mad

Buzz buzz bitchez: Rogue? What the fuck?

Metal apocalypse: Who the hell said. I'll fight em. Bring em here so I can knock their teeth in

My snitches: Can I join? I'd love to shove my foot so far up their ass that-

[My snitches has been removed from chat]

Spark god: Was that you again Rogue?

Shadowy emo: Maybe

Fire king: Who called Wendy ugly?

Buzz buzz bitchez: Are we just going to ignore the fact that Cobra is gone now?

[Metal Apocalypse added My snitches to the group]

My snitches: Fuck you shadows

Shadowy emo: No thanks

Spark god: He's scared because he's a virgin

Shadowy emo: Haha. Suck it. I've actually had a fuck session

Buzz buzz bitchez: Pics or it didn't happen.

My snitches: What the fuck? Are you horny or something

Buzz buzz bitchez: No

Buzz buzz bitchez: Natsu date me

Fire king: What?

Buzz buzz bitches: I'll take that as a no

Buzz buzz bitchez: Rogue, wanna date?

Shadowy emo: Where did this come from?

Buzz buzz bitchez: Well Cobra, Gajeel and Laxus are together and I just wanna have fun dammit

Fire king: So you wanna fuck?

Buzz buzz bitchez: That's. The jice of it yeah

Shadowy emo: Alright

Fire king: Sure

Buzz buzz bitchez: Oh. Cool. A threesome

Spark god: We aren't dating you know

Shadowy emo: You took forever to respond there.

Metal apocalypse: I mean I'd fuck you again if I had the chance ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My snitches: Yes please bitch

Spark god: Fuck that's fucking horny

Spark god: *hot

Shadowy emo: Don't bring that stuff into this chat

Metal apocalypse: That what he said

Metal apocalypse: Also you have no room to talk. You were just bragging that you weren't a virgin

Kitty munchkin: Thanks for beating that guy up for me Gajeel

Metal apocalypse: No problem

Kitty munchkin: What's this about fucking each other

Metal apocalypse: fuuuuuukkkkkkkk


	5. Gajeel has issues

[1:28am]

My snitches: Ummm

My snitches: Has anyone heard of night lizards that watch you in your sleep?

Shadowy emo: OK first of all. What?

Shadowy emo: Second of all, if they watch when you sleep then why are you awake?

Shadowy emo: Thirdly, why are you asking this at 1 in the morning

My snitches: Why are you responding at 1 in the morning?

Shadowy emo: Fuck you

Spark god: What's this I read about night lizards

Shadowy emo: Cobra is talking about night lizards. Whatever those are

My snitches: I'm not joking. I woke up to breathing on my face and when I looked up I wass staring at a scaly face with red eyes

Kitty munchkins: Isn't that just Gajeel?

Buzz buzz bitchez: Gajeel doesn't have a scaly face though

Shadowy emo: Actually when he activates his dragon scales he does

Buzz buzz birchez: Of course you would know that

My snitches: Does Gajeel also have a fucking mini muzzle

Shadowy emo:......

Buzz buzz bitchez:.......

My snitches: Didn't think so

Spark god: Has anyone noticed how quite Gajeel has been. Surely he would have heard his lacrima go off

Shadowy emo: True. Gajeel does complain about early morning messages

[Spark god has initiated a group call]

[Group call was ended]

Buzz buzz bitchez: What was that about?

Spark god: What the fuck!!

Shadowy emo: What?

Spark god: I heard movement outside my house and went to check and I found a fucking dead bird on my doorstep

[Spark god sent a photo]

My snitches: Oh god. What the hell?

Shadowy emo: That looks like it got ripped to shreds by a monster or something

Buzz buzz bitchez: Who would leave such a disgusting present

Metal apocalypse: What's going on? You guys are blowing up my phone

Metal Apocalypse: Oh hey. I recognise that bird

My snitches: You what?

Metal Apocalypse: Yeah. That bird was outside my window the other day

Buzz buzz bitchez: And what happened to it?

Metal apocalypse: I squewered it then fiddled about with it. I bit it a few times. Got a few feather stuck in my teeth though.

My snitches: Where were you a few minutes ago?

Metal apocalypse: I dunno. I must've had another one of those stupid blackout phases I get when I wake up somewhere random with my clothes slightly torn and my shoes nowhere in sight

Shadowy emo: Wait. Where are you?

Metal apocalypse: I dunno. There's a lotta trees. That's about it

Buzz buzz bitchez: So wait. How do have your phone

Metal apocalypse: It was in my pocket

Shadowy emo: You need to see a doctor if this is a regular thing

Metal apocalypse: I'm fine

My snitches: Ah yes. Blacking out then coming back around with torn clothes in the middle of a forest is 'fine'

Metal apocalypse: Ya'll are making a big deal out of nothing

Shadowy emo: Just see a doctor

Metal Apocalypse: Fine


End file.
